frozencapciicle:

sweaterkittensahoy:

scarletjedi:

triflesandparsnips:

poopjokesanonymous:

I don’t even know what inspired me to write this but I was spot on

I once tied my Barbie to the top of a doorjamb and carefully drew and cut out a paper fire to burn underneath her. I remember it being part of some kind of grim drama, involving me really deeply contemplating how sad it was that we’d have to eat her to survive the oncoming winter.

my barbies have, at different times, been burned at the stake (my dad’s dowels), been erzatz voodoo dolls, held a high fashion show, and participated in what, in retrospect, was some bondage-meets-snidely whiplash-esque shenanigans.

My Barbies had sooooo much sex. I was so curious about sex my parents got a video tape that explained how sex worked, and after that, my Barbies banged constantly.

Mine went to college once, another was a hella rad rock star babe aaaaand the majority of the time there was sex in a Jeep when an avalanche occurred and everyone got stuck in the car.
And the videotape that the one lone doll had was possessed and the recorder was obsessed with its owner.